


closest thing to assault (when all eyes are on you)

by crownsandbirds



Series: sadist's lullaby [5]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Fox!Riko AU, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Minor Violence, Threats of Violence, i guess this covers it, let me know if i should tag anything else, let me see, oh boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-09 22:57:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13491555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crownsandbirds/pseuds/crownsandbirds
Summary: Riko tilts his head slightly to the side. "Listen to him or I'll kill him, you know I will. I might just slit his fucking throat and then shoot myself in the head later. I might burn this place down."Riko has a breakdown.





	closest thing to assault (when all eyes are on you)

**Author's Note:**

> "You swallowing matches and suddenly I’m yelling, Strike me. Strike anywhere.
> 
> I swear, I end up feeling empty, like you’ve taken something out of me, and I have to search
> 
> my body for the scars,"
> 
> \- Richard Siken, Wishbone

Riko's eyes are wild, burning and brimming with rage-induced tears when he throws Kevin against the lockers and puts his knife on the tender spot beneath his jaw. He is shaking all over, and the blade scrapes against Kevin's skin. "Tell me to calm down again and I'll slit your throat open, I swear I will." 

Kevin notices, in a panicked daze,  _ his cheeks are wet. I wonder if he knows he's been crying.  _ He keeps glancing at Riko's face, wet with tears and distorted by his dangerous, painful delusion; Riko appears to realize it as soon as he does, because he lets his choking grip on Kevin's neck go to aggressively wipe at his own face. 

Someone shifts somewhere behind Riko, and Kevin glances at them fearfully. It's Dan, looking terrified out of her mind, apparently moving to try to get closer and do something. Kevin shoots her a look,  _ please don't, please stay away from this, let him talk, don't get closer. _

Riko notices, and he laughs like a maniac. "Yes, Kevin, tell them, tell them what I'll do if they try to get themselves into what's  _ not their fucking business." _  he snarls and his hand shifts like lightning, moving to press the tip of his blade against Kevin's tattoo on his cheekbone. "You know what I'll do, don't you, handsome? You remember what I did, that one time." his smile is slashing through his face like an open, bloody wound. "Don't you? You do. I'll refresh your memory. Black walls, this same fucking knife, little French bird in your place and you trying to order me around. Do you remember, Kevin?" 

"Yes, Riko, I remember-" he manages to gasp out before the choking hold on his neck is back, strong and unrelenting as a vice. 

"I love it when you say that. I love it when you just go  _ yes, Riko _ ." Riko tilts his head slightly to the side. "You heard him, captain." Dan tenses up even more when she realizes he's talking to her. "Listen to him or I'll kill him, you know I will. I might just slit his fucking throat and then shoot myself in the head later. I might burn this place down." he tilts his head to the other side and frowns deeply, the way he does when he can hardly believe there are people who are stupid enough to disobey him. "Minyard, I can fucking  _ hear _ you moving. If you take another step, Kevin's death is on you. One more murder for your miserable little life. Are you keeping tabs?"

Kevin can't remember any moment this common room has ever been so quiet before. 

Riko takes a deep shuddering breath, tightens his grip around the hold of his knife, "God, you're so gorgeous, sometimes I want to rip your face in shreds. You and Jean, my beautiful things. I can't remember what they say about beautiful broken things, but I remember my uncle saying something about me being too pretty or something. Was he the one who said it? Hm. Maybe it was one of those players who liked to fuck my soul out of body.” someone behind him takes a sharp breath but he doesn’t even seem to notice it. “I can't recall properly. I just remember a few things, here and there. The drugs made it slightly fuzzy, though. The cuffs, and everything. ”

He stays silent for a few seconds, staring down at his feet like he’s miles away from this entire thing, his dark eyes shining with a strange, sick glint. No one dares to breathe. Kevin can see the twins looking at Riko as if they've never seen him before, and then hears Andrew silently walking out of the room and slamming the door behind himself. Riko slowly lifts his head, as if the noise woke him up from his daze. "But it's okay. It's fine. They said I liked it. So it's all great. It didn't even hurt. Well, I mean, if there was any pain I don't remember it, so. It doesn't matter." he shakes his head, the strands of his hair falling over his eyes. "I'm digressing. Let's talk business. Kevin, my prince. How many?"

The grip around Kevin's throat loosens up a little so he can answer, and the tiny fingers grasp his collar instead. "What?"

Riko looks coldly impatient, and, beneath that, terrified of something he can't see. "How many mistakes, Kevin. During practice. I need to know. You know I need to know. I need to brace myself since I'm going to get beaten up for both your mistakes and mine."

Kevin can feel his eyes filling up with tears. He heard those words so much. So often. "Oh, Riko.  _ Riko _ , you're not there anymore, you're not at the Nest, he can't hurt us anymore-" 

The blade moves from his face to his stomach, underneath his shirt. He abruptly cuts himself off, breath coming out in quick, shallow pants. 

"Stop lying, Kevin." Riko says in a sing-song voice. The metal feels freezing against Kevin's skin. "You know how much I hate lying pets. I hate pets who lie and tell me everything's going to be just fine and pets who talk in French behind my back." his smile is monstrous, his voice as high-pitched as his laughter. "Shut up before I decide you can play just as well without your tongue. Just answer my goddamn question so I can get this over with." 

Kevin can feel a drip of sweat running slowly on his nape. He randomly recalls how Riko likes to be hugged from behind and kissed on the neck, how he melts in Kevin's arms and purrs like a kitten. "Riko." he says, slowly, carefully. "We're not in Evermore. Remember? Jean called me and told me to get you out of there months ago. We're at PSU. The master is not here. He can't hurt you."

" _ Of course _ he can, Kevin-" his fingers tremble where they grasp at Kevin's collar. "He always can, he always finds a way, always from the neck below, you know it, Kev, you know it better than anyone, there are  _ so many ways _ of hurting someone - give him a bucket of cold water and somewhere private and -" Riko shudders from head to toe, and seems to lose the strength on his legs, because he stumbles forward and his head falls on Kevin's shoulder. He's panting quickly, the warm breath touching Kevin's skin almost gently, but his grip on the knife is unrelenting. "It was the worst one, Kevin. It doesn't get worse than that. There's no sensation worse than being half-drowned. It's so ironic because it's so easy, and it just - it hurts  _ so much -" _

Kevin somehow manages to press a shaking kiss to Riko's sweaty temple. "I won't let him hurt you. I'll kill him if he tries." 

The knife falls to the floor as Riko falls to his knees, his legs having finally given out under him. He rests his forehead against Kevin's thigh. Tears are flowing freely down his pretty face now, and Kevin knows exactly how they taste on his tongue. He  _ knows _ the bitter taste of Riko's agony. "God-" Riko lets out in a tired exhale. He sounds exhausted. "I can remember everything. It hurts - so badly,  everything hurts, my father should've had me killed when I was born - just like they did to mom-" 

Someone gently pulls Riko a bit away from Kevin - as Tetsuji figured out years ago, Riko like this, on his knees, is hardly such a fearful threat - so Kevin can kneel down next to him and hold him in his arms. 

It's so familiar, everything about Riko is as familiar as life itself. His smell, his soft hiccups, his tears and red-rimmed eyes, the way his bottom lip trembles and his hands keep clenching into fists as if he's ready to defend himself. Kevin struggles to pick him up in his arms and get up while he begs him to,  _ please don't let him hurt me, please don't let him find me, don't let him take it out on Jean, don't let him come near me,  _ his body now weak, and limp as a ragdoll. 

When he manages to stand on his feet with Riko on his arms, he turns to everyone else in the room. They're staring at them with the wide-eyed innocence and pain of people who can barely comprehend what has been done to them.  _ We were just children, _ Kevin wants to say, wants to scream.  _ He was just a child.  _

But he's too tired and explanations have always been meaningless when no one wants to listen. 

Kevin barely has the presence of mind to mumble a  _ thank you _ to whoever holds the door open for them, and then it's shutting quietly behind his back and it's just the two of them, completely alone in a long hallway, to tend to each other's wounds. Like always. 

 

-

 

Riko is still exhausted, quiet and pliant, the fight completely gone from his body for now. He stays on his knees beside Kevin's desk, wearing a shirt that clearly doesn't belong to him and sitting back on his heels, his head propped on Kevin's lap and his eyes staring distantly at something that's years away from both of them right now. 

He's not apologizing. Kevin wouldn't want to hear him if he was. 

Everyone wants to talk to him now.  _ So much to unpack _ , Wymack said. 

_ I really need to examine him myself. I just,  _ Abby sighed _ , I have to see it. I have to do something. _

Dan stuttered, eyes wide,  _ We had no idea- _

That's the problem. No one ever has any idea. At all. 

Riko says nothing and fiddles with the hem of Kevin's pants, Kevin works on his essay and sometimes threads his fingers through Riko's soft silky hair just to reassure himself of something he can only describe, vaguely, as the certainty of survival. 

 

-

 

At night, Kevin presses kisses on the tender skin of his neck. "My king," he mumbles against Riko's pulse point. "I love you."

He waits to hear a chuckle, an  _ as you should.  _ Instead, Riko takes a deep, shuddering breath, and asks, "How? Why?"

Kevin lifts his head and stares into the blackest eyes he's ever seen, caresses the  _ 1 _ with his thumb. "How couldn't I?"

**Author's Note:**

> well. i don't even know i hate how this turned out i'll write something better in a few days i promise


End file.
